News Flash! Tragedy struck the Muppet Theater yesterday. All of the Muppets were found dead by police. Reports from first responders are grim. "There were furry bits, felt, and googly eyes everywhere," said Frank Handle the Fire Chief for Unit 36.

Officials have said that it is not immediately clear what caused the mass fatalities. An investigation is underway by police and government officials and unconfirmed sources have indicated that the FBI, CDC, and NEST units are all involved.

The area surrounding Muppet Theater has been quardened off and the media has not been let in.

It is a horrible day for theater goers everywhere. Although one elderly gentleman interviewed nearby stated that "Perhaps now we can get some good entertainment in this city. It was like some kind of torture to have to watch that show."

The entire cast and crew of the Muppet Show were killed in a tragically hilarious accident. Now they are stuck in Purgatory awaiting Judgment. But the disposition of their souls does not rest upon their earthly deeds. No. They must perform for their salvation. God and Satan are watching.